Profound Realizations

 This is me in a dressing room yesterday, Saturday, February 3, 2018.  I tried

several size 8 pants but they were too big so I tried 6 petites and that's what I ended up with.

So, I'm smaller now than I have been in 30 years.  I haven't been this size since before I had children.  Reason for celebration and excitement...right?  You'd think so, but no.

This last week a profound sadness came over me.  As I continue to get smaller I feel like I am mourning a previous life that I can't go back to.  In my workplace my friends and coworkers routinely order in all kinds of meals that I no longer eat.  They routinely bring in sweets to share that I no longer can indulge in.  They routinely ask me if I want anything and I always say thank you but no.

I don't know any other vegans and I feel very isolated most of the time.  I feel like I have to keep up my defenses all the time because the temptation is always there to go backwards.  I still like the scent of meat even though I don't really want to eat any.  The smell of McDonalds drives me crazy.  I don't want to eat that stuff because I know how unhealthy it is, but Dam is smells good.  It's like crack and I'm the addict.  I know I cannot take even one bite because I won't be able to stop even though it's not something I want to put in my body.

I can never go back.  I'm too old to start over again.  This is my life now.  While my husband eats the homemade chili with cheese, sour cream and crackers I eat a pound of salad.  Today we went out to lunch.  He had a huge fish sandwich that smelled so good.  I had a veggie burger that clearly did not taste anything like a meat burger.  That's my life from now on.

This last week I was so depressed about that.  Sometimes success is bittersweet.  I know I'm doing the right thing for myself.  I don't want to go back and yet there's something about that past life that I miss. 

Is this what maintenance feel like? 

It's Time to Weigh In

It's been a month since I weighed.  I struggled so much during December that I was afraid to weigh.  I know I gained several pounds because I could tell the difference in how my clothing was fitting.

So this last week I was back on plan, eating right and exercising every day.  I did everything right, kept to the plan and when I weighed on Saturday the scale said 137.  That exactly what I weighed at the end of November.  So the plan works.  I  It got me down almost 5o pounds and it will take me down into the 120's, where I'll start maintenance.

This morning I told my husband that I want to get down one more size and then I'm done trying to loose weight.  He said, "you know that means nothing will change".  He's right.  In order to maintain I'll have to go on working the plan, eating how I'm eating now and exercising every day, twice a day.  It won't get easier.

If anything, it's getting harder.  I understand why the vast majority of those who loose weight gain it all back within a year.  The end of a successful weight loss journey is the beginning of the struggle to keep it off.  For me it's quite easy to stay on task during my work week.  It the weekends where I struggle.  And vacations are a nightmare.

As long as I'm working full time I'll be safe.  I don't think I can ever retire.

How Not to Die Cookbook by Dr. Michael Greger

 I spent the afternoon looking at the photos and recipes on this new book just out, How Not to Die Cookbook, by Dr. Michael Greger.  The photos are beautiful and there isn't one recipe that doesn't look good to me.  This book is a companion to another book of the same name, also written by Dr. Greger. 

Dr. Greger has a eating system that he has boiled down to what he calls the Daily Dozen.  All the recipes in this book adhere to the healthy, whole foods on that list.  So, as I picked out the recipes I'm going to try first, I made sure I was ticking off as many items as possible of the daily dozen.  That way I know I'm getting the most nutrition possible from what I'm eating on a daily basis.

I've been a fan of Dr. Greger since I decided to switch to a plant based, whole food way of eating.  This cookbook makes eating that way look really good.  This cookbook is going to help me balance my diet and continue to loose weight.

I paid $17.99 for this hardback book on Amazon and I got it in two days.  What a deal.  It's a very well put together cookbook with beautiful photos of every recipe.  If you are looking for a vegan cookbook, I highly recommend this one.

Weight Loss Update and What I'm Eating

The above photo was taken this morning, 12/3/17.

I was off work the whole week of Thanksgiving.  I rested and relaxed.  I didn't exercise and I pretty much ate what I wanted that was vegan.  I also cooked a big, non vegan meal for my family for Thanksgiving and I ate all the vegetable dishes.

I gained one pound during that week.  So I'm at 139 right now.  I am now wearing a size 8 in ladies sizes.  I still want to get down into the 120's before I transition to maintenance.

To that end, I spent the week working out hard and eating a compliant, vegan diet.  I didn't loose any weight.  So Here's my strategy for the coming week:

I'm switching from oatmeal to vegetable soup for breakfast.  I dearly love oatmeal and I believe it's so good for us, but it just doesn't keep me satisfied until lunch.  My homemade, all fresh soup is very filling because of the liquid and hearty so I don't get hungry until lunch, which is about 6 hours after my breakfast.  I'm going in the opposite direct for lunch; something less heavy.  I fill a six cup container with lettuce.  My toppings this week are three bean salad, sliced beets, bell pepper and two tablespoons of chow chow.  I'm not using any dressing because I used the three bean liquid and that with the chow chow should be enough.  This is a lot of food but because lettuce has so few calories its not a calorie dense meal.  For dinner I will continue to eat fruit only.  Typically I'll eat a banana or apple before my evening workout and something like grapes afterwards. 

This strategy of eating more calorie dense meals at the beginning of the day and going lighter for lunch and dinner has worked for me thus far and I hope it will continue to do so.

Here's some of the good things I've been eating:

 I heard about this Vegan Egg product some time ago but I couldn't get it locally.  Finally, it showed up at my local Publix grocery store.  It is amazing!  It taste good and looks good.  To be fair, I only eat it mixed with grits because that's how I used to eat eggs.  For me this is a treat.  I only eat it on the weekends because it's not a whole food. 

 Above is my bowl of grits with "bacon" bits and the vegan egg on top.  It scrambles just like eggs and is great for people like me who love this combo.

 This last week I put pumpkin purree into my oatmeal and pumpkin spice oatmeal.  In the above photo I have sprinkles ground flax seeds over the oatmeal.  So good!

My weekend meal was this dry bean soup mix with onion, potato and diced tomatoes served over rice.  I sprinkle some tumeric over the top.

Two More Pounds Gone - What I Ate This Week

As long as I keep it tight Monday through Friday I continue to loose weight.  Not every week, but my weight gradually continues to go down. 

 For Breakfast every morning I had oats, blueberries and a sliced up banana.  This is really the only sweet breakfast that I like.  The weeks I don't eat this I eat vegetable soup.  I prefer a hot, savory breakfast, but for variety, some weeks I do oatmeal with fruit.  It's very filling.  Try to eat a cup of oatmeal.  It's dense but there's twice as much liquid as there is oats so it's very low calorie dense.  That makes it perfect for weight loss.

 This is a combination of slaw mix, brussel sprouts and onions.  I steamed the mixture in a nonstick pan.  This is layer one of my lunch bowls.

I

 Layer two was baked potatoes.  I like to eat white and red potatoes that don't need to be peeled.  I love potatoes.  I can eat them often and plain.  They are low in calories and nutritious.  Again, perfect for weight loss.

My third layer was roasted vegetables:  Zucchini, carrots and bell peppers.  All these vegetables are low calorie dense; perfect for weight loss.

For dinner each night I had sliced fruit.  I eat as much as I want.  I love fruit but it's not very filling.  The reason I switched back to eating fruit after work instead of starches is so that I go to bed feeling a little empty.  It's just part of my overall strategy to continue to loose weight. 

So that's what I ate last week.  It was a good week for food.  I was never really hungry.  I did go to bed feeling empty because I workout an hour in the evenings and fruit isn't very filling.  But I did that purposefully because I'm trying to continue to loose weight.  I'm at 137 and I want to get down another 10 pounds at least before I work on a maintenance program. 

This week is Thanksgiving so my food strategy is different than normal.  I'll post about that at the end of the week.

For right now I'm just staying the course.

November Weight Loss Update

Two things happened in the last week.  My boss's boss said to me that there seemed to be a lot less of me around the office, lol.  I said yes, almost 50 lbs. less.  He was shocked and asked me how I did it.  I didn't want to be too specific because I don't tend to get positive reactions when I say the word vegan, so I just said it was a combination of diet and exercise.

Secondly, I went to the funeral of a beloved uncle that I haven't seen in almost 20 years.  I haven't seen most of the people who were there.  At least ten people came up to me and told me that I looked fabulous; like I hadn't aged at all since they last saw me.  This time it was me that was shocked.  I just smiled, blushed and said thank you.

So, even though I'm still not where I want to be ultimately, my hard work is paying off.  I feel better than ever and apparently I look pretty good for an old gal of 53. 

There hasn't been any change in my weight.  I would really like to loose at least five lbs. before the end of the year.  At this point I think I'll either have to add exercise or subtract calories.  I'm already exercising about an hour in the early mornings and again in the afternoons.  What I haven't been doing is exercising on the weekends.  So I got up at 5 am this Saturday and walked two miles.  I'll do that again tomorrow, Sunday. 

As for diet, I'm going to tighten that up too.  I've been eating starch in the evenings instead of my usual fruit.  It's definitely more filling, but I'm going to go back to just fruit.  Fruit is much lower in calories per pound than starch.  That means I'll go back to being hungry when I go to bed, but it also means I'll probably start loosing weight again.  It's a trade off that I'm willing to make to get back on the weight loss train.  I was hoping to avoid any more food cutbacks but I have a goal and I want to get there, No Matter What.  That's the mantra that got me almost 50 lbs lighter and I want it to carry me further.

The Simple Life - Reaching My Goal for the Year; Now What?

This is me this morning, October 8, 2017 and that's me about 10 years ago on the right.

On Friday I reached my 40 pound loss goal for this year.  At the beginning of the year I promised myself that I would would loose 40 pounds this year No Matter What.  After 25 years of yoyoing, and for the last ten years loosing the battle, my health was at great risk.  I literally spent the entire year of 2016 in and out of the doctor's office about my health.  My blood pressure was dangerously high to the point that I was having to go for checkups constantly.  At one point I saw a nutritionist; what a waste of time that was.  By the end of the year my weight was up to 185.  At that point my doctor told me that if I didn't start doing something to improve my blood pressure I would have to start on meds. 

That's when I made the decision.  At the beginning of January 2017 the journey that led to this day began.  I'm there.  Now what?  Actually I'm not there.  I'm almost there.  According to my doctor, I need to get down into the 120's to be at a weight that is in the healthy range for my size.  So I've got 20 more pounds to go. 

So now the rest of my journey begins.  I won't make it into the 120's by the end of this year.  I'm purposely trying to loose my weight slowly in the hopes that it will help me keep it off. 

So, that's where I am.  Now it's a matter of staying the course.  I believe I can do it.  It's not fun and it's not easy but I feel better and I like the way I'm looking as my body shrinks.  It's a good feeling being smaller.  I feel better about myself.  It's a good place to be.  Stay the course.